Defining Success
Over the last several weeks, I have consistently discussed steps anyone can take to become successful and what is required to be successful in any aspect of your life. However, understanding how to be successful is not particularly relevant if you are unsure of what success even means. Long story short, the definition of success is different for everyone. But that doesn’t mean that you can’t learn what success means to you.
Judge Success by Your Progress
Success should be measured by your progress. I’m not talking about setting goals and accomplishing them, although that can be a measure of success. I’m talking about progressing toward your goals. The fact of the matter is that if you set a goal and then you grind it out and work hard every single day, then you are successful. If you make even a millimeter of progress toward your goal, then you had a successful day. Rome wasn’t built in a day and neither is success. If you step back and look at the progress you are making in relation to your ultimate aspirations, it is easy to become disheartened and feel like a failure because you aren’t achieving your dreams. But ultimately, success is about the process, not the achievement. The reason successful people can excel in any situation they are placed in is because they are focused on the process and learn as they make progress toward their ultimate goal. Successful individuals also tend to place more value on the process than on the goal.
Even a few years ago, I had a mindset that said, “If I had X amount of money today, I would never work again”. This mindset is the reason I wasn’t successful at achieving my goals. I wasn’t focused on the process that I needed to get where I wanted to go. There is a reason why people like Elon Musk can be one of the richest people in the world and still work hard and build companies and strive to achieve more. It is because they fell in love with the process of success more than even success itself. I’m not saying that achieving goals aren’t important, they most certainly are. But what is equally important is the process it takes you to become successful. Therefore, you should measure your success on one simple question, are you making progress toward your desired end state? If the answer is yes, then you are successful.
Judge Success on Your Achievements
Another common trope amongst those aspiring to be successful is the mindset that if I were as rich as someone else, then I would be successful or if I only had what someone else doesn't, then I could be successful. This mindset is completely wrong. Not only does it hold you back from working toward your goals, but it also creates a feeling of never being successful.
I think we probably all struggle with this to some extent and social media certainly has not helped us avoid the temptation of judging our success based on the success (or perceived success) of others. I was watching TV with my kids a few weeks ago. We were watching a show on Disney called Big City Greens. Parents of younger kids may know it. In this particular episode, one of the characters, a barista in her early to mid-20s, is scrolling through social media and sees all of her friends doing all these amazing things. They were traveling, getting married, and starting their own businesses. She saw this, focused on her current position in life (not where she wanted or thought she would be), and saw herself as unsuccessful. She felt alone and got depressed because of others. She decided to quit pursuing her dreams and leave Big City. However, along the way, the Green family convinces her to not give up and to continue to pursue her dreams. This is a perfect example. If we allow others to dictate how successful we are, it will only make us feel bad about ourselves and lose sight of the process, and may even cause us to give up.
This fact is amplified by the fact that often social media is a lie. People do not post when they are at their low moments in life. They don’t post the issues they are going through. They don’t post the 100 bad pictures they took to get that one highly filtered and edited photo of themselves. Social media is simply a lens through which people often portray a false sense of reality. It may seem like someone is doing extremely well, but it is just as likely that they aren’t. This is important because if we then use that false sense of accomplishment, happiness, or success to judge ourselves, we are almost certainly bound for disappointment since we are judging our success on an unrealistic expectation that may or may not be real anyways. Therefore, when looking at how you define success in your life, you need to judge your success by your achievements and your goals, not someone else’s.
The Key Takeaway
Ultimately, how you define success is up to you and no one else. Some people may define success as having a loving family and a steady job that pays the bills with a little left over for savings. Other people may define success as being the CEO of a multimillion-dollar international conglomerate. Both of these people could be considered successful in their own right. You can also define success in more than one way. I may be incredibly successful in my career, but it is also important to be a successful father, husband, and friend. This requires balance having balance in your life and understanding where your priorities lay at this current moment. But regardless of how you choose to define success, everyone should focus on the process and judge their success by their own actions and accomplishments.
By focusing on the process, you ensure that even large goals won’t intimidate you, and you will not get disheartened if you aren’t achieving goals as fast as you would like just enjoy the process and realize that as long as you keep working and you are making progress, you can achieve your goals. By judging success on your own merits and not the perceived success of others, you ensure that your perception of yourself and your accomplishments are both grounded in reality and not skewed by a feeling of disappointment that you aren’t at the same level as someone else. By focusing on the process and judging your success based on your actions, you have everything necessary to define for yourself what it means to be successful.